This newest phase of my life has already taken me to some tremendous places. I’ve visited Alaska, San Diego, the beach, the mountains. I’ve gone alone. I’ve gone with friends. And I’ve always gone with God.
I hear God loudest in the quiet moments of solitude, reflecting upon life and purpose while looking out upon a serene alpine lake, a babbling brook or staring at the stars. In the quiet, I hear.
“For the LORD your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing.” Deuteronomy 2:7
God provides. He provided for the Israelites in the wilderness referenced in Deuteronomy. He provided for me in my life when I knew him, but was blocked and living in sin. And he provides for all, those who know him and do not.
I came across a quote from Thomas Merton’s Thoughts in Solitude that really speaks to my surrender to the journey. My utter abandonment of my plans, my designs. My life has been turned over.
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.” – Thomas Merton, Thoughts on Solitude.
That is now.
This was then.
I have a tattoo of a Latin proverb that the psychologist Carl Jung had inscribed above the door of his home and on in casket – “VOCATUS ATQUE NON VOCATUS, DEUS ADERIT” – which loosely translates means ‘called or not called or invoked or not invoked, God is present.’
Whether one believes or does not believe, God is present. Whether one is actively calling upon Him and seeking Him to be a force in their life, He is always there. His care, His protection, His comfort is abundant whether we see it or not.
I didn’t call upon Him for a really long time, but He was always there.
In hindsight, it couldn’t have possibly been any other way…
Searcher's Journey 