I’ve been finding myself sitting in thought & reflections & contemplations of love often lately. It wasn’t an intentional thing, but something that just’s kinda been happening to me. I didn’t plan it, and it’s weird and it’s outside my comfort and I don’t know how to navigate it and I don’t know what box to put it in.
So I read. And I try to dig into it. I try to look at my internal battles & struggles & fears & insecurities. But mostly I read. And I reflect while I attempt to grow. And shed tears of gratitude.
And as it shall be and tends to go, I’d been meaning to read Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet for a while now, but as with most things in my life they often simply come as I’m ready and they unfold when the time is right. I’m certain that if I’d have read it 15 years ago, without the heart position I do today, I wouldn’t have got the same from it.
Here are some lines that have rung particularly poignantly with me thus far.
“Then the gates of his heart were flung open, and his joy flew far over the sea. And he closed his eyes and prayed in the silences of his soul,”
“And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course,”
It’s poetry of the heart told through the story of the soul in a different place and a different time that rings true to the yearnings within me. Feelings I never knew I had or hidden or suppressed or felt were not available to me because of how unlovable I felt I was in who I was.
But all that changed when I met the Lord in a radically explosive painfully traumatic encounter when everything about my life changed and everything about my heart changed and everything about how I saw the world changed and everything I thought I knew and believed went out the window and the Holy Spirit painted my world and filtered my vision in a massively transformed manner and everything that was was then new.
It’s been a journey and it’s been painful. And it’s been joyous and freeing and grace filled.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars,” Kahlil Gibran
Up sometime soon, Lewis on Love (specifically, The Four Loves) that I’m reading in my bookclub.